Hello there !
Well, long time I haven't post a journal entry, and drawings especially :S
So what happened to me these last 5 months ?
In February-March, I worked hard for school, had lot of work, watched Breaking Bad (such an AWESOME serie
) ! At the end of march, I went to a party of a girl in my class, I was with some friends of me and there were also people I didn't know (especially a nice boy thehehe <3). I was having a good time at this party, drank a bit... much (schhhh xD) and I also, like I'm very shy and this boy was shy too, my friend and her boyfriend "helped" us let's say to speak and enjoy the party together. So we spoke a bit, danced together... and finally kissed us awww :3 <3 And then... I slept on his belly after a few minutes and him too ahaha that was ridiculous x'D We finally gave us our phone number and we chatted together the day after
BUT, the day after the party (it was a sunday), I wanted to go to my laptop normally but unfortunately, my laptop died
I was sure I would have lost all my files, programs and all, so my parents brought its the monday to a reparator while I was in class. And yes, my laptop was totally died :/ But fortunately, the reparator had saved all my files and put them in an external hard drive.
Otherwise, some days after talking to this nice boy (Alexis <3), he searched me in my high school, we spent the afternoon together, spoke more than the party and when we had to go home, he kissed me and told me he was really happy to see me again <3 I was too !!
A week later, we really decided to be together
It was the 29th March officially.
In April-May, we were still together, having a lot of fun, we spent a lot of time together, he presented me to his parents, sister, even his grandparents and they are such a cool and awesome family ^^
Concerning studies, I had training of my final exams and I got good results ! I continued to work hard, went to see my friends in clubs and with my boyfriend, went to cinema etc. Also during my school exams, I had an oral exam with 3 other girls of my class. I was with a great friend of me, a girl who was okay and an other that she hated me and that I hate so much (she's such a bad girl, she's probably my worst meet of my whole life seriously...). The problem was that this b*tch is a great friend of the girl that I considered as one of my best friend... So it was hard to be with my friend and with her at the same time...
Time passed, a lot of things happened and after days, weeks, me and my friend began to dislike us. She prefered that b*tch than me and she began to be very bad with me. After weeks and weeks, we had to continue to work together for our oral exam but it was so hard. These 3 girls hated me so much, I was alone and the problem was that oral was one of the most important mark for my final exam :S To conclude, me and my friend have stopped to talk now, we hate us and I learned a lot of bad thing she told me in my back, I'm really disappoint to have lost a friend that I found so awesome
We had to work for our oral until May and each day were harder to communicate with all these 3 girls. I talked to my teacher about our problem and she helped us to continue our oral. The oral exam was the 2nd June.
In June to today, I've got all my exams. The 2nd June I got this oral exam and it was correct, even if it was hard to communicate with them. It passed and then, I got the rest of the exams (writing) from the 16th June to the 23th June. I also waited for the results of my studies next year. We had to go to a website in January to ask schools about our projects and our futur studies. I had to give a letter of motivation and give all my school reports to them. I've asked 3 differents studies with one who is still in my actual high school. I've got the results of that the 23th June, after my last exam and my mom called me to tell that what I wanted the most was accepted
So next year, I stay in my high school during 2 years, for my last years of schools :')
But well, all was good but not for so long... Last saturday, the 28th June, I was supposed to spend the afternoon with my boyfriend. He searched me with his grandmother's car in front of my house, as always. And it strange because the night before, I made a dream, like if I felt something... In my dream, it was like on Facebook. I was watching my boyfriend's profile and he posted a strange thing, it was a photo of him and he wrote something like: "I'm not anymore sure of my feelings... I'm in love with all the girls".
I just thought it was a dream / nightmare. So saturday at the morning, I woke up and I didn't feel really good (cause of my periods...). I was taking my breakfast, went to my computer, like a normal day. He told me the day before that he would come at home at 2.00 P.M, so I waited this hour.
2.00 P.M came, I left my home to rejoin him in his car and then I thought we would go to his home, as we always did and spent an awesome afternoon... No... it wasn't... I went to the car, opened the door. He told me "hi how are you ?", I answered him "not very fine but well". Then I approached my face to kiss him... He didn't move at all
He watched me really sorry. I began to stress and asked him "what happen ?". He watched me... told me "I don't know if you felt it but for a week, I have the feel that I don't feel in love anymore with you, I don't know why...". After these words, I began to cry and asked him "why ? what happened ? what did I do ? something bad ?". He told me "no, don't worry, it's not you, you are so awesome, don't change anything ! it's just me... I don't feel anymore love...".
.....Just by writing this it makes me cry... I remember so much the scene, I hoped it was a nightmare, not real, my dream of the last night was true... I hugged him for minutes and cried so much, told him "I love you so much Alexis, don't leave me, don't go, I feel so fine with you, I need you, I don't wan't to be alone anymore...". He hugged me too and told me "I'm so sorry Julia, but I prefer to stop now that continue during months and feel forced to be with you, otherwise it will be even worst for you...".
That's so terrible pffff... Like we were in the car, and it was raining, I asked him if he wanted to go to my home a little more, to speak a bit more. He accepted. So we went to the living room, I was so lost. I didn't understand all what happened, in just some seconds, all changed about our love. I cried and cried, still hugged him strongly, he hugged me strongly too, made me a little kiss on my neck, I did to him too... After about 10 minutes, I asked him: "are you really sure about that ?", he answered me "yes..."...... So... terrible.... then after, I told him: "well... I think all is said, I let you go...". I was so sad, I knew that when I will stop hugging him, I will not see him anymore... I made him a last kiss on his lips before he passed the door... I told him: "I wish you a lot of great things, lot of happiness", he answered me: "thank you, to you too", then I closed my door, and watched him go... I was alone in my home, it was about 2.50 P.M, I was sure it would be a great afternoon as always but no, it was over...
So saturday and sunday, I spoke to my parents and some friends and I thought about all he told me, when exactly he lost his feels, if he knew another girl, a lot of questions... I decided to call him Monday, we spoke and I asked him these questions. He told me that it came at the beginning of my exams but he didn't wanted to disturb me during this, he told me that no, there are no other girls and that at the beggining of our relation, all was perfect for him but with time, it passed and he lost his feels with the time... I can't force him to love me, and I also think it's better like he said, than continue our relation for months if he fill forced to love me, it will be terrible. But at the same time, that's so terrible to hear that from the person you still love... So it's over now... I'm so sad because we had a lot of projects for this summer but that was too beautiful to be real... Also, he has his birthday the 6th July but he does a party tomorrow, I was invited because sure, I was his girlfriend but we finally decide that I won't go to his party... I feel really sad about it
I just told him that I will send him a message on his phone the 6th to wish him a happy birthday, that's all. We were together for 3 months (well 2 months and 29 days let's say) and I'm really glad I had a boyfriend like him. He was nice, he respected me, he was tender, he was so beautiful, we never have bawl out... I really wish to find someone like him very soon <3
Except these bad news, today I got my results of my exams. I got 14,29/20
And I got great marks on my most important subjects (16, 14 and another 14).
Now I'm officially in vacations, it was so much stress and in France, we talk so much about this exam, since we are very young so it's a great step on our lives of students
So much pressure for months and years and it's finally done ^^
Now I'm in vacations and I will try to see some friends of me, my family and draw a bit, I've actually 2 ideas on traditionnal art, it will be Eevees, one shiny and one normal. Long time I haven't draw, especially traditionnal art
Also, as I changed my computer, I will probably stop digital art, or very less, because the reparator of my old computer told me that it was when I used big programs as Photoshop for example than my computer overheating and died earlier than normally. I also bought MarioKart 8 today so I'm gonna play it too ^^
I think I've said all, this journal is very long OMG ^^' But I think that's normal, as I didn't gave any news for so many months
I go to dA everyday so don't think I'm not interested about art, I still love art, drawing, it's my passion
Thanks for reading in advance, you are too courageous x')